Where is it?

Sometimes, it seems like the outtakes are the best.

You know exactly what I'm talking about, even if you don't know you do. We're all searching for it: The Happy Medium, The Middle Ground, The Perfect Compromise, The Ultimate Win-Win Outcome.

Most people strive to be successful in their career, but not so successful that the rest of their life suffers for it. I want to be a good mom, but I have to be careful not to get so wrapped up in my kids that I lose sight of who I am. Most days, I know I'm in here somewhere.

I've also been searching for my happy medium when it comes to blogging. It's not that I don't have anything to blog about, it's just that I don't seem to have the time. When I have the time, there is usually so little going on in my life that I have nothing interesting to say. When will the day come where I have as much free time as I do things to write about?

And when will someone actually pay me for my wisdom?

Yeah. Probably never.

We just bought a new car. Well, it's not really new so much as it's new to us. As a matter of fact, it's basically ten years old! However, it's in great shape. There are a few little fixtures and things that need to be repaired or replaced, but that's to be expected when you buy a car almost as old as my oldest child.

I've actually had mixed responses when it comes to this car. We weren't looking for a new car. We have two perfectly working cars. However, one of them gets about 12 or 13 MPG. Unless you live under a rock, you'd know that one would have to be quite wealthy to purchase the gas to keep a car like that going. We don't plan to sell the Tahoe, we just don't plan to drive it very often. But, the kids are getting older and their needs are changing. They don't need someone to stay happy and cuddle with them all day. (Not that that EVER really happens, but you cannot convince David of that! He's pretty sure our days are just one big Norman Rockwell cuddlefest while he slaves away all day delivering boxes. And I cannot seem to convince him otherwise.) Now, they need a taxi service. They need to be taken to soccer practice, softball practice, cheer practice. They have playdates and doctor and dental appointments.

At $4.00 a gallon, we were feeling as if we'd have to cut out most of that stuff. Or all of it. I mean, can anyone really blame us for choosing to pay our mortgage over getting out teeth cleaned?

Realizing that we could not realistically eliminate all (or any) of these things, we opted to look for a third, smaller, more fuel-efficient car. It helped that we knew we'd be getting our healthy little 'Economic Stimulus' check. In fact, the timing couldn't have been better.

And from the crazy traffic on Craigslist, it seems that many others had the same idea.

She's a 1999 Saturn WAGON and her name is 'Ruby.' Guess what color she is. I can fit five people, an umbrella stroller AND a big load of groceries in her. And her gas mileage is SWEEEEEEEEET! It's funny. The girl I bought her from handed me the keys and said, "Her name is Ruby." I've never had a car with a name before! As we were walking away from her last night, the girls said, "Good night, Ruby."

And now David has one more reason to roll his eyes at these females that have him outnumbered.

Poor guy!

So far, I've had a great time trying to make her mine. I've purchased one car in my lifetime that was brand-spanking new. I loved that car, but everything was brand new and perfect and I was never able to make it feel like 'MINE.' I only drove it for about a year before I sold it to my mom. Turns out I married a man who is too tall to sit comfortably in it. Ironically, he's the one who helped me pick it out!

I don't know if it's the fact that it's a small car or what, but it makes me feel younger when I drive Ruby. It brings back the days when I had only driven a small car. I drove faster, played my music a bit louder...and there were not three (or four) kids in the backseat. I had to choose between paying for electricity and buying groceries and I knew exactly how long I could push the phone bill off before they could disconnect my service. I would put my last two dollars in my gas tank to get me through to payday...and that still got me a little over an eighth of a tank!

And I guess it's nice to feel a little more secure in my life, but still be able to zip around town in a small car with loud music. And those kids are just the icing on the cake....most days! And the music is usually something you'd hear on the Disney channel.

But those few moments where I find myself in the car without the kids? I'm 19 again, and just hoping to make it to the next gas station after I've picked up my paycheck!

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Wow! Reading this from the top, it's very obvious how much I jump around! I hope you were able to keep up!

The Circle of Life Rears its Ugly Head Yet Again

I lost a friend yesterday. My beloved cat, Shadow, went to the big scratching post in the sky....

We're still not quite sure what happened to him. He was a scrapper, that's for sure! He'd be gone for days at a time and come back with a ripped ear, patch of fur missing, etc. I'd patch him up and he'd stick around for awhile...until he was called on his next big adventure, that is. He was six years old and must have lived all nine of his lives to the fullest. If that cat could talk....

David called me while I was running errands last night with 2YO to tell me that he found Shadow dead. I was shopping, of all places, at WalMart at the time. I'm still not quite sure I've processed it all. He was my cat. He would find me every couple of days or so and just want to crawl up on my shoulder for some attention. He would meow like a pitiful kitten even though I had usually seen him with a dead squirrel or gopher in his mouth just hours before. He was even good with the kids. He seemed to know to restrain himself when dealing with a young child or baby. As the child grew older, his patience wore thinner.

With the exception of all the dead and dying creatures he brought in the house to share with us, he was the smartest cat I'd ever known.

Ironically, while still shopping in WalMart, I found myself looking for some cheese. Two women were standing next to me. One asked the other to borrow her cell phone. The other woman told her that she purposely left it at home so her family couldn't bother her while she shopped.

Myself and another lady on the other side of them giggle. We've all been there, right? I mean, my husband had just called me to tell me he'd found my cat dead, forcing me to finish the rest of my errands with knots in my stomach. Shopping without a phone could be a blessing, I think.

So, the lady on the other side that also giggles starts explaining why she has to have her cell phone with her.

"I need it in case something happens, and the clock is telling me that they're still seven minutes apart. I want to wait until they're four minutes apart to head to the hospital."

WHA-WHAAAAAT??????

Yup. This woman was in labor and shopping by herself to kill time. Myself and the other two women start bombarding the poor woman with questions:

"You mean you drove yourself?"

"Is this your first baby? How long were you in labor with your first one?"

"Do you feel okay? Because you really shouldn't be out shopping by yourself..."

"Does your husband know you're in labor?"

When asked about her husband, she chuckled and said she had to get away from him.

"He was getting on my nerves. Ooooh...I want popcorn."

And she walked away, cell phone still in hand.

I am very aware that cats and people aren't the same, but it sort of put me at ease to know that, while I lost a kitty, someone else was having a baby.

Life goes on, you know. And things will always change. We win, we lose. We do it again tomorrow.

HEY! Who's in charge here???

Some things have come up recently that have caused me to question how much of a handle I really have on things around here. For instance, did I even mean to take this shot with David's hand peeking in from the side? WHO KNOWS?

I mean, we've always been sort of cocky about how many children we have. Not so much how many, but how much control we feel we have of it all. I get pregnant the month we start trying, yet we have no 'surprises' when we're not. Or do we?

(NO. I'm NOT PREGNANT.....but thanks for asking!)

It's been a common joke in our household that he throws his underwear across the room, I catch it and I'm pregnant. I know we are SO BLESSED for it to be that easy. But, wouldn't that also mean that it would be that much easier for us to have 'accidents?' So far, we've been lucky there, too.

*knocking on wood*

Seriously, I'm sure most of us 'active' girls have had our share of 'Could I be Pregnant?' moments. And it's not just from the textbook reasoning, either.

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Gosh. I just cannot seem to get enough peanut butter lately. Could I be pregnant?

I haven't been this tired for no real reason since....

(checking the calendar)

Why am I so hungry all the time???

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Our thought process takes some interesting turns when we throw in the possibility of pregnancy. I've pretty much decided that we are probably done having children. We have three amazing daughters with three completely different personalities. Life is good right now. Our family feels pretty complete, really. Besides, I currently weigh a little less than I did when we got married. I finally feel like I have my body back. We only have a three bedroom house. As it is, two of the girls will always have to share a room. And what if the next one was a boy? Would we be able to add on to our house? Would be buy a bigger one?

Now, I could go on and on forever with reasons to not have another baby. But, truth be told, David and I would embrace any 'surprises' with open arms and shift our plans accordingly. If being a parent teaches us nothing else, we definitely learn how to be flexible.

I woke up with big plans today. I usually do....but my day never ends the way I plan it to. I want the kids to do what I ask and this house will be a lot more organized than it was when we woke up this morning. But, the girls are getting along so well this morning and are headed outside right now to play catch. How can I argue with that? I just took a Claritin and I think I'll head outside myself and try to straighten up the chicken coop. I can drink as much coffee as I want without worrying about the consequences. And that works perfectly. For today.

While we ponder taking more permanent measures to ensure we don't have another child, I wonder if the decision will be made for us. I know of someone who became pregnant five years after her husband was 'snipped.' And YES the baby is his and YES they have proof. It's like wearing your seatbelt: You can take all the measures possible to ensure that you survive that trip to the supermarket but, in the end, it's not really up to us, is it?

So, for today, my entire family will continue to wear their seatbelts and I will continue to try to take that little white pill within the same hour or so every night for three weeks a month....

...and the rest is out of our hands. And that's okay, too. It has to be.

It's almost as if she just dropped off the face of the planet...

If you are reading this, than you must know that I still exist. I do, don't I?

Aside from our brief venture to the edge of the continent, I haven't really gone anywhere. I'm just busy, I guess. I blame the children or, more specifically, SOFTBALL SEASON. Did you know that the older girls (14 and Under) have two or three games a week? And that they still practice a day or two on top of that? Yeah..I didn't either. Plus, I have my 5YO on a 6 and Under team. She only has one game a week. THANK GOODNESS!!!

I also babysit a BONUS5YO before and after school during the week. I'm not sure if I've mentioned that here. It's been so long since I've mentioned ANYTHING here that I've lost track. B5YO is on 5YO's softball team. Actually, you could probably say it's the other way around since HER MOM is the coach! 5YO has really come out of her shell and hasn't shed one single tear yet this season.

Great. Now that I've written this, she's going to be a giant ball of emotions at Saturday's game! I should know better than to jinx myself that way. Like when your baby starts sleeping through the night and you feel so inclined to brag about it. The following night, demons take over your baby and you get less sleep than EVER. Kids live to make liars out of us, don't they?

I'm sorry. My train of thought seems to have derailed. It happens....

So...David and I just celebrated our 6th anniversary. After a long, exhausting day of softball last Saturday, he and I pawned the kids off on Grandma and hit the road. We went to Pismo Beach. It was a really wonderful time. The weather was awesome, though I could have done with a little less wind. Then again, it's the beach and we were alone together so IT TOTALLY ROCKED!

(So did our neighbors in the motel we stayed at, by the way. Their 'noises' woke us up in the middle of the night. David still thinks it was the tv [gotta love HBO!] but I think I know a live show when I hear it! Those walls must have been pretty thin, I tell ya!)

Between the 'frisky neighbors' and the lady who hauled off and spit like a trucker in the parking lot while we ate, David and I had a lot of things to point and giggle at.

I know. I know. We are SO going to hell! At least there will be people to make fun of there, too!

We began our adventure with dinner at Rosa's. YUMMY! If you are in Pismo and enjoy Italian food, you should really check that place out! The prices were actually pretty reasonable and the food was divine. But, they really had me when I ordered hot tea and they brought out this giant case of at least ten different types to choose from. A tea buffet, if you will. I *heart* Rosa's and will go back again, when the opportunity presents itself!

We concluded our trip with the clam chowder to go, from none other than the Splash Cafe. There is nothing else like it. We've purchased their clam chowder at Costco before and it's good...but not as good as getting it while actually AT Pismo. Atmosphere makes it even better.

By the time we got home on Sunday evening, we had been gone a total of 24 1/2 hours. That was 24.5 hours of total bliss, though. We have decided to take the girls back there this summer. We will stay at the beach the entire time, which will make the girls very happy. They could dig in the sand for hours on end and not tire of it. Then again, so could David.

David drove the entire way and I knitted most of that. We chatted and fought over music...it was AWESOME! Now that our youngest is 2, we will try to find more and more opportunities to get away. Alone. We get so caught-up in the whole 'parenting gig' that we almost forget how to just be 'husband and wife.' Then again, I think that happens to so many couples. It's the phase we're in, I guess. But, things will change. Kids will grow and schedules will change. And, when it's all said and done, we need to remember how to get along without them. If it all goes according to plans, they will eventually not need us so much anymore. And that will be bittersweet.

But, for now they continue to need a lot. Help with homework, rides to practice, money, clothes, food and such all rest on our shoulders right now. And TIME...

...there just never seems to be enough time!

Man In Training

This picture has absolutely nothing to do with my story. I just finished it and I think it's awfully cute, don't you?

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I'm looking after the boy who lives across the street today. He's six years old and quite the little charmer. My girls adore him and he's pretty fun to have around. Now, it's time to make lunch.

He wants these Mickey Mouse pizzas that he knows we usually have on hand. The girls want chicken nuggets. Since I can pop them both in the toaster oven at the same time, everyone wins today. He carries the pizza in from the freezer and puts it, box and all, in the microwave. He then looks over at 12YO and grins, almost as if he knew that was the wrong way.

Without missing a beat, 12YO exclaims, "Mom.....he is such a guy! He knows that's not how you make a pizza!"

The 'Battle of the Sexes' starts younger and younger, doesn't it?

Okay....so it's the FIFTEENTH OF MARCH.....

...and I have no idea where the time has gone!

I mean, I GUESS I sort of know...but it all gets away from us so quickly sometimes, doesn't it? I've been babysitting a BONUS 5YO. She's in kindergarten and I get her before and after school. She and my 5YO are best buds. They even look alike and people honestly think I have four kids now!

And I feel like I actually DO sort of have four kids!

Thanks to the time change, I get to see the sunrise every stinking morning. It's beautiful and I've actually started to look forward to it. I am busier somehow....much busier. I love it and hate it, if that makes any sense. Being productive puts me in sort of a pissy mood and I can get a bit mean when someone gets in the way of progress. I guess laziness seems to be a natural sedative or something for me, as I'm much nicer to the whole world when I can stay in my PJs all day and play on the internet.

I do, however, have a bit to show for my time gone. Here are a few sunrises I had the pleasure of witnessing firsthand:

We finally got one of the girls' bedrooms painted and put together. FINALLY!

In this last picture of their room, David is wearing my very first felted hat. That was so much fun and I cannot wait to felt something else! If you remember, the hat looked like THIS

when it was first on the needles. Wildtomato talked me through it, as 2YO had ripped the labels off my yarn and the felting instructions were lost. After letting it agitate in the washer in hot water for about 12 minutes, I stuffed it full of plastic grocery bags and used a saucepan lid to make the brim a little bit wider.

Still drying....

Like I said, it was a lot of fun and I can't wait to do another project like this again. I'm currently working on a hat for my friend's baby, who may very well be born by now. Her mom was in the birthing center last night at the hospital. I'm just waiting to hear that she's here.....

I really do hope that I can get into a better routine with the addition of this fourth child during the week. I hope that means that I can actually set aside some more time for 'me.' I went four days straight last week without even turning my computer on. I must say that I did feel a bit accomplished after that, but the feelings of withdrawl seem to be lingering a bit. As of now, we have parent meeting for softball, practice for both girls at the same time on opposite ends of town, a St. Patrick's Day party at the neighbors' house, and birthdays to celebrate. And that's just the schedule for TODAY. I'll take my chaos the only way I can swallow it...one day at a time.

Have a wonderful weekend!

There CAN be instant gratification in knitting!

Get a load of these little numbers....SO FUN!!!

I've discovered a little project that I love for so many reasons. First of all, these things will probably only take a half an hour or so by the time I get the pattern down really well. That's as close to instant gratification that I've found in knitting thus far! Plus, they don't take a lot of yarn and are a great way to use up scraps. I also read that the cheaper acrylics scrub even better...so I don't necessarily have to use cotton. Win, win, win, right?

I'm not really sure if waking up earlier is making me more productive or not. I've been waking up 1-1 1/2 hours earlier than normal. I help David get his lunch and stuff together to be out the door by 6:30 so he can hit the gym before work. As of right now, I've been awake for almost 4 hours and I've gotten so much more done before 10:00 than I usually have done before 11YO gets home from school. But, I feel like I run out of 'oomph' that much sooner, too. I'm almost ready to turn my coffee pot off and start drinking my green tea...and that doesn't usually happen until noon. I also feel like taking a nap. That won't actually happen, but my productivity will be going downhill from here on out!

I've really been hooked on oatmeal lately. You know, the good old-fashoined Quaker Oats...not even the quick ones! I've been eating a bowl every morning and it's so yummy. I just hope that's not what's causing all this terrible GAS I've been having. TMI? You're welcome!

Does anyone know if oatmeal actually causes gas?

I'm ready to start the heel of my first sock. I'm skeeeeered. Why is this part so intimidating to me? I found a site that actually seems to have a decent explanation of how to turn the heel of a toe-up sock. I read it over and think I can go along with it. So, why am I still so intimidated? Here's what I have so far:

I love being able to try the sock on as I make it. I cannot imagine making a sock from the top-down. Toe-up is definitely the way to go for me!

Wildtomato has given me an awesome gift. They are the Knit Picks Options Harmony Wood set of knitting needles. They rock!!! They are so smooth and soft and pretty...fondling them regularly makes me very happy, indeed! I am working on a felted hat with them and I almost don't want to finish it. Then I would have to find something else to do with them. Of course, I could get a few more projects going with them, as this set comes with four cables and all sizes ranging from 4-11. I'm afriad of having too many balls in the air at once, though. I'm sure I will have more and more projects going as I become more skilled. For now, it's hats, scarves, and dish cloths.

Here are the needles in the hat I'm making:

Aren't they just freaking GORGEOUS??? And they FEEL even better than they LOOK!

Then there's that sock....I will work on the heel today. I need to take the time and follow the instructions I found. I need to hurry up and finish at least one sock. Wildtomato also brought me more sock yarn...


...and I cannot WAIT to see what these socks turn out like!

Must go now. My needles and I need to be alone for awhile....